We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
