We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
