At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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