There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
