I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
