Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
