OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
