apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
