No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
