so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
