we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize