it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
