tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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