It's just like the Real World with babies
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
