If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
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The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
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Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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