One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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