it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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