I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
