Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
