i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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