I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
