There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I will be naked everywhere
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
