You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
