i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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