Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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