I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize