D3 body, D1 cock
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
