Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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