Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I could fuck to npr.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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