I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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