Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
