You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He felt like a one man threesome
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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