that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
where am i from again
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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