Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
