My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize