So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
