He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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