Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
