I want to have your abortion
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
