the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
