I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
