if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
