I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
