Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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