Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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