Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
