Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
