who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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