I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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