I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
