Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
