I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
