Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut my penus on the lid.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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