I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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