I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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