Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
