We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Come see our sink grown plant.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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