My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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