well you can't waste a boner
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
