I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
