I want to have your abortion
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she looked like the before picture.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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