You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
