I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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