he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
